RIP Gwen Stefani

Gwen Stefani is alive and well and living in Oklahoma, which is basically the same thing as being dead if you used to be Gwen Stefani.

She married Blake Shelton in 2021, and what followed has been a slow-motion erasure of everything that made her interesting. Not all at once. Just bit by bit, like watching someone gradually beige themselves into oblivion.

The latest evidence is “Shake the Snowglobe,” a Christmas song that exists. That’s about all you can say about it. It’s a song. It has lyrics. Gwen sings them. There’s nothing wrong with it, which is precisely what’s wrong with it.